Overwhelming

Our mayor, governor and archbishop have just returned from Rome, where they and other area luminaries spent the better part of a week trying to convince the Pope and his gang to come to Philadelphia. This is in connection with a real big family celebration hoo-hah slated for the not too distant future.
It seems that the hoo-hah all by itself will supposedly attract a few hundred thousand Catholics to our fair city.  But add the Pope and voila! we get a million. And as our emissaries hung about around the Holy See, the number of potential visitors climbed - first to one million and a day or so later to two million.

"Glad to be here, hope you are too!

A few hundred thousand steaming asses yearning to be free is one thing, but two million? In the span of less than a week? We have had a good number of several hundred thousand crowds before but two million guests is more than we have hosts.
Where will they stay? Hotels around here are already booked for this deal, and the ones in the burbs can fit only a small fraction of such a horde. So even if they just sleep in parks, or stay awake all day and just wander around, where will they excrete? How many Port A Potties are there? Can we get them by rail, like the Bakken crude coming our way from one of the Dakotas, in mile long trains? Has anyone thought what could happen if our sewer and sewage treatment facilities overflowed? Is there enough food? Those guys in clashing plaid suits at city hall should be working on this stuff now.

Could happen on a street near you

Like many big cities, ours is short on cash, so perhaps we could utilize this opportunity to haul in some much needed revenue by charging folks to leave town when they are all done their huzzahs?
Just a thought...