For no known reason, yesterday I took notice of an
inordinate amount of discouraging information about dogs. Discouraging in the
sense that people seem to have become too enamored with these creatures that
eat cat shit whenever they get the chance. I have indeed loved dogs in my life
but I never confused them with humans, or any other elevated being.
I do not sleep with them in my bed, as I learned awhile ago,
more than fifty percent of dog owners do. Remember these are creatures that eagerly
devour cat shit.In the New York Times yesterday I read that we (Americans) spend over fifty billion a year caring and feeding pets. More than the entire budgets of a number of states. Since we feed and care for a cat I know that the bulk of this money goes to dogs. Here in Pennsylvania our legislature (the “Land of Giants”) spends more time worrying over puppy mills than about all other public needs combined (or so it seems). Perhaps that is because we let a guy that killed dogs for fun quarterback the Iggles
In yesterday’s Philadelphia Inquirer I learned that there are spas for dog owners that can bring their cherished cat shit eaters with them and learn how to make organic treats for their loved ones.
But these extravagances pale when compared to the service I saw promoted on the C line in
A joke of course! But wait! It’s actually a spoof on something real. Or surreal. People do in fact get their dogs altered with plastic surgery. They can even install fake testicles so their poor mutts won’t lose their self esteem and have something to play with when there is no cat shit to gobble. I guess friction powered fake nuts that glow when the dog walks are coming soon....
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