Bath Salts??

In case you have not noticed, there has been a rash of strange happenings around the country wherein men become crazed when confronted by law enforcement, yell gibberish, attack people for no apparent reason, and race about, stripping off their clothes. I have noticed these especially in Florida, which is an extremely odd place, full of nut jobs (just check out http://www.reddit.com/r/FloridaMan). Here is a San Francisco man in a subway station - http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/06/naked-man-san-francisco-bart-subway-video.html.  The phenomenon is not limited to Florida, but has also occurred here in my hometown and California and Maine that I know of.
It reminds me of a long lost but unforgotten misbehavior called streaking. Drunken college kids would dart about naked, usually un-confronted by law enforcement. Perhaps they spewed gibberish, perhaps not. They did not attack people, just gave some a bit of a shock.
The current phenomenon seems to be fueled by bath salts, according to some reputable New England sources and others. It turns out that this is all quite legal and pretty common, especially among hicks and stupid people; according to daughter Abby some of her college mates from Pennsyltucky are familiar with such things.
Some fun, eh?

Personal Ponderings

Inspired by a recently received grand bathroom reader (True Remarkable Occurrences; John Train, Clarkson N. Potter) I began wondering about some common figures of speech than do nor make any sense. To read this fine book, I go and take a dump. I can also take a whiz in the snow out back. Take it where? Is it just lying around somewhere it should not be? One would think we would wish to leave such things, not take them with us.
Recently I have noticed the phrase "on the ground" cropping up all over the place - my morning paper, the radio, TV; everybody is citing "sources on the ground " or "activists on the ground", or "facts on the ground". Even NPR and the BBC do this. So are there airborne activists, sources and facts? That fly around and look at stuff? Why don't we ever hear from them? Perhaps some are in the rivers and oceans? Why not just say where these sources etc. actually are? Of course they are on the ground, unless they are birds or drones. Or fish.

Activist on the ground?

Here is something else I ponder- do deaf people worry about the sounds of flatulence? Does being deaf enhance the sense of smell enough to give them the same joy of flatulence that hearing people have from the sound of a robust release of pent up wind?

Just a few items to occupy the mind on a cold winter day.

There Really is no Bottom in the Land of Giants

We teach children that things have a bottom so they will not fear being flushed down the drain or the toilet. But in reality and in politics, there is no bottom. Just pay attention to what goes on in your state legislature, where far more harm can come from than any other level of government.
Here in Pennsylvania, the "Land of Giants," just in time for Martin Luther King's day, one of our public servants wants to free us from all anti discrimination laws. This by amending the state constitution so that any discrimination is OK provided it is based on a "sincerely held belief" of the discriminator. That's any type of discrimination at all.
So any Pennsyltuckian mild minded nut ball who falls for some sort of tin foil hat crap on the internet can forget that his co-citizens have the same rights he does and act accordingly. Since I myself sincerely believe that rap music indicates a failure of the mind, I could deny a fan or practitioner of that genre housing, money, food, employment, or anything else. And I would be right to do so, since I sincerely believe that rap music sucks.

 

Please meet Pennsylvania State Rep Gordon Denlinger, from New Holland PA. He is a republican and an elder in his church, a graduate of Bob Jones U (is this outfit accredited yet??). He has been serving in the state House for ten years. A true denizen of the "Land of Giants."

 



["Land of Giants" is term coined, and a book published, by the great former Philadelphia Inquirer political columnist Steve Lopez. He has since moved on the LA Times and film fame in "the Soloist." His fine work is now carried on by John Baer of the Philadelphia Daily News.]

Made in the USA

 

We should all be grateful that our country does in fact produce a lot of real good stuff even though we suffer greatly from excessive noxious winds. For some time I have been trying to buy US made stuff and have found it well worth my while. Why this last bit is centered, I do not know..

Take clothing.
Most recently I have been able to replace crappy undos that fall down over my butt with fine products called "Wickers", made in New Hampshire. Much, much better! http://www.wickers.com/. Socks? Get "Wigwams", they are even better than John Deere (bet you didn't know about John Deere socks, that's what you get for shopping at el cheapo stores..).
Best work clothes in the world? Get them from "Prison Blues", made by inmates in Oregon prisons. Forget your Carhart double knees, made who knows where.

Speaking of work stuff, LL Bean's boots, made in Maine - the only footwear I would compare to my old USMC boots. Also from Maine, real boat shoes by Rancourt in Lewiston. Costs more, worth more - my kids will throw these out when I am gone!

 

I just got a union made jacket, made in the USA, seventy five bucks. Warmest I've ever had, go and try to get something this good at your local big box. Good luck. And if you patronize Bill's Khakis of Reading PA, not only will you get trou built like a brick shit house, they will send you catalogs with Bill being ever so rugged, suave and debonair all at the same time.

 

Remember, you get what you pay for!!!



Noxious Winds

After seeing a couple of hilarious communications about flatulence, I wondered if, by extending the interpretation of the word, we have become engulfed in a gale of noxious winds.
By this I refer to the verbal equivalent of farting wherein some statements are so foul in their vitriol, hatred and stupidity that they may as well be considered as mere emissions of noxious gas.
It seems that we are subjected to this from every quarter. From reality shows on TV to sputterings from governors' mansions (Pennsylvania and Maine in the lead here), to flapping congressional lips we get a constant flow nonsense and ignorance.
Consider just one topic, and less than one day's gas emission from just two people.
We live in times when a fool like Donald Trump can make pronouncements about climate change, and, much worse, there are those that go along with him. And to quote Newt Gingrich, thought by too many to be able to offer wisdom of some sort-“the age of the dinosaurs was dramatically warmer than this is right now and it didn’t cook the planet, in fact, life was fine.” He should know.
Its nothing other than noxious wind, flatulence in all but odor.

The Presidential Switcheroo

With all the yammering and whining one hears about the Affordable Care Act (known as "Obamacare" by the mild minded), one would think its a new idea, and that its a liberal conspiracy at that.
It is especially strange that so called conservative representatives of districts most in need of the benefits of the act seem to be most venomous in their objections to it.
In fact the bulk of the AFA (that's Affordable Care Act) is modeled after ideas initially put forth by the Heritage Foundation years ago. Not known for its liberalism, the Foundation's idea sparked then governor Mitt Romney of Massachusetts to initiate what was then known as "Romneycare.". Most all of the objections we hear today about Obama's efforts were proven wrong back then. Despite his Power Point presentations of his presidential campaign to the contrary, much of "Obamacare" is copied from "Romneycare."
So what's really going on here? How is it that the republican party forgot itself and decided to go against one of it's very rare rational ideas? And this one actually worked!
What we now call conservatives are in too many cases merely sets of lips that flap whichever way gets them away from the lousy places they lived in before the got to Washington. They know and care very little about their party's history or their country. In their frenzy to cater to folks too stupid to vote their own interests, they squandered the best political opportunity in a generation.
Or perhaps they feel like grad students that do all sorts of research work so that a professor they don't like gets a Nobel prize.

"Get Your Ugly Fat Ass Over Here"

Not exactly what you would expect to hear in a Zagat rated establishment is it? And hear it I did, directed to me personally.
But this is a great case for a quote taken out of context. On its surface, it might be assumed to be an instruction from a cop to someone who is trying to jump in front of a train, or similar circumstance, like a parental command to a lard-ass offspring.

You have to know the Zagat rated Koch's Deli, Locust near 44th in Pennland here in the Quaker City to understand that its really a heart felt invitation to try a free sample of wonderful food. Koch's, founded in 1966, is a standing room only (except for two mismatched chairs) deli wonderland remembered from my youth and virtually unchanged since then (1974, when I lived in the then shabby, now pristine, Netherlands Apartments nearby).
Nothing here for new-fangled foodies or health nuts. Their trade is in giant sandwiches which could sustain most third world hamlets for a week. "More Meat for Less Bread". They take orders over the phone but don't make them till the caller shows up because they are busy with the folks in the store. The walls are festooned with pictures, "Best of Philly" awards, autographs, fan mail and municipal proclamations of greatness. While you wait for your order they offer free pickles and samples of whatever they are working on, with very earthy invitations.

Wherever you may see Koch's listed as a "restaurant" on those stupid on line restaurant sites, know you are reading ignorance. Koch's is not a restaurant, it is a DELI.
If you are visiting Philadelphia and have the choice between the Liberty Bell and Koch's, go to Koch's, unless you are not really hungry.
They have a website and a twitter thing but nobody pays attention to any of that, its a place you have to go to and enjoy for real.